Tag Archives: Friends

In Transit

I feel as though time has stopped. I’ve felt like that a lot since I departed Sydney a few days ago. It’s a combination of different time zones, emotional exhaustion, odd sleeping habits and anxiety. Singapore is a nexus: I’m not at either of the places I call home. I am getting impatient, too. That pool of anxiety about the flight, the time, the weather. There’s nothing more I want than to just climb aboard and settle in.

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So I am waiting in the Snooz Lounge where the American and I spent some time in the middle of our 37-hour flight all those months ago. My body cries out for a nap, but I want to use the time aboard for such things. Outside, a tropical storm is rolling over Singapore, and I am watching the spectacle from the comfort and safety of the best terminal in the world. Little people below race around in oddly shaped carts servicing the Singapore Airlines 777 that just arrived to Gate B2.

It’s been a very emotional few days for me, and I am just spent. It was so hard leaving my family and friends, and it always is. But this was extra hard. I’d spent three months back in home with the whole crew, and so it’s understandable that the bonds are stronger than usual. It’s getting harder and harder to leave them. One day, I don’t know if I will be able to.

But I know that even in this state of fogginess, I’ve been so incredibly lucky to be able to spend this time with my family and friends. And time is the most important thing: you can’t make more of it. All this emotion reminds me that I am alive, that I am loved and that I love. A good friend of mine told me that ‘crying is feeling life physically’, and I appreciated hearing that. These tears are a happy, sad, tired, anxious tears. But the one thing these tears are not is regretful. I have lived these last three months fully, and I am proud of that. I’d do it again in a heartbeat.

And so in the midst of wallowing in the sadness of not being with my family and friends back in Sydney, I turn my focus to this next phase. I am about to board a flight back to SFO, back to the place I have chosen as my home, and back into the waiting arms of the man I love. I’m incredibly fortunate to have such lovely people around me in Sydney and San Francisco. When I get there, I will unpack and prepare for the next chapter of my American life. But there’s always a piece of my heart still back in Sydney.

Love

Notes on an Engagement

Tonight, two of the greatest people in the world stood up in front of their friends and family and formally announced their commitment to each other. There were fancy cocktails, jugs of Pimms and Mediterranean antipasto plates. Dresses, gravity defying hairdos, half-dancing and big hugs. It was a night to celebrate love and the momentous decision of forever. And it could not have been more perfect.

Friends from all of the various circles the happy couple runs in were represented, including some teammates from the days of UNSW softball. Being back with them, calling them by their softball-specific nicknames, and reliving old Australian Unigames adventures was so energising. It felt as though we were speaking our own language. I barely made it around the people I knew before I called it a night.

Over the years, I’d shared a good amount of time with both families after crashing on their couches. It was touching to hear both fathers reveal their softer sides, and how welcoming they are of the official alliance between the Harris’ and the Hodges. Mums Hodge and Harris baked phenomenal cupcakes for the occasion and were great conversationalists.

Love

“If you gamble everything for love, you’re gonna be alright.
– Ben Lee

As I drove home, I couldn’t help think about how surreptitious life can be. These two independent women were once unknown to each other. But they took a gamble and said yes to love, yes to the adventure. And I’m so pleased they did! It has taken them all over the world, through multiple degrees, new jobs, saving for an apartment, the purchase of valuable Sydney property, the renovation of said apartment, and to adopting an adorable Corgi mix, Dudley.

For over a decade, these ladies have been such an important part of my life, and are still very special to me. They’re the type of friends I can go years without seeing (being that we live on entirely different continents) but we kick off exactly where we left off. No need for explanations or side notes. Now that’s a good ol’ fashioned friendship.

Seeing them together makes me smile. My heart filled with joy when I heard the question had been popped and that the recipient said yes. Their love is tender, respectful, honest, elevating. They treat each other with kindness and are not afraid to disagree. They complement each other perfectly. So it was marvellous to see the overflowing goodwill towards them tonight.

There’s something special about making it ‘official’. And I can’t wait to see how the next phase will play out for them.

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Life in Sydney

Sunrise in Perth.

Morning, Perth!

A few weeks back, I returned to Australia. My flights took me to Perth, a whole side of my vast nation I had not travelled to before. I stayed long enough to transfer to the domestic terminal, send a few emails and board the plane. A few hours later, I spied Mum waiting for me at the baggage carousel.

G'day Sydney!

G’day Sydney!

Now, I’m back in my childhood home, but in a different room. Gone are the deep turquoise walls, replaced by a soft shade of grey. It’s my favourite colour right now and makes it feel like a whole new room. The art I had collected prior to moving overseas is hanging, framed, on the walls: pictures of ballerinas, Melbourne trams, and photo of one of my favourite horses (and winner of the 2001 Golden Slipper), Ha Ha. A collection of my favourite travel books are stacked on my desk to inspire me to keep doing what I love. On my bedside table, a thunder egg and piece of pink-coloured quartz perched atop Frankie, a (new-to-me) magazine aimed at inner city female hipsters. Whilst I don’t quite fit into that category, I took a punt on it because it looked interesting.

I place an emphasis on keeping my space tidy, clean. The bed is always made, the clothes in their place. It’s livable and inviting. Such a contrast to the way my room used to be!

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The doona cover is white with navy cross-hatched polka dots. Six pillows of alternating stripes and dots. A thick, soft navy throw graces the end of the bed. The set up is luxurious, a far cry from the accommodations we had in Asia. I feel so calm, so relaxed in this room. As someone who can’t stand going to bed, having such a luxe set up has been revolutionary. I now want to slide under the covers and lay my head down. This is something I am really looking forward to recreating when I return to the Bay Area.

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Since arriving, I have not ventured too far from my family’s home in southern Sydney. Staying put usually makes me antsy, but I’ve enjoyed adjusting to the slower pace of life in the suburbs. It’s so quiet. Parts of the area haven’t changed, and others are completely different. Overall, the feeling is one of familiarity, like my favourite PJs.

I’ve been into the city only a handful of times since returning a few weeks back: to meet up with one of my best friends from SF (who was visiting her family in Sydney), for an interview, and to enroll back at Uni. I’m taking a few classes online this year, and we’ll see where it leads. Classes start next week. I look forward to learning new things and stretching my brain again.

Watching the planes land from the cafeteria at Ikea.

Watching the planes land from the cafeteria at Ikea, where I picked up a nifty little desk.

But along with getting to experience the Australian summer, I’ve been so blessed to be absorbed back into the lives of my friends and family. And it’s such an exciting time! New engagements, news of new babies to arrive this year, hens parties, weddings, new romances. Life in Sydney continues, but I feel as though it’s open wide enough to let me in for a just a little while before I head back to San Francisco.

It makes my heart sing to know they’re doing well, and that after more than six years of me not physically participating in their lives, they are still keen to include me. I’m so grateful for the opportunity to experience the joys of life with them.

Family BBQs

Family BBQs.

A cuppa and a chat.

A cuppa and a chat.

The obligatory penis straws at the Hens Party.

The obligatory penis straws at the Hens Party.

One of the best parts about being home have been the impromptu moments: the spur-of-the-moment coffee dates and lunch plans with friends, feeling growing bellies, the shared experience of watching Louis Theroux documentaries with my sister, the honest chats with my brother as we prepare dinner, meeting the fascinating neighbours of my Dad’s aunt, chilling on the verandah with my parents after work, the invites to birthday celebrations, and time spent walking the dog.

All of these things, and more, have brought me joy since returning, spending time back home in Sydney. I’m taking it easy and appreciating the love and support I have here.

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