Post #62: Swan Song

I have been rather quiet of late for I have been assigned a task that doesn’t sound bad, but one that has sucked the vigour and hours upon hours from my lifeless body. I’ve been slaving working away at updating the campaign lists for a forthcoming political function. It’s going to be a great event, but most fail to appreciate just how much work goes into events. Afterwards, I always end up feeling shortchanged. Guaranteed.

If there’s one thing I learned about political campaigns is that your list/s are as valuable as gold. A well curated (and current) list can make or break a campaign. But the actual process of compiling and updating and creating campaign lists is incredibly dull. As in poke-your-eyeballs-out dull. But because these lists are important (and because I’m getting paid), they get done. And because I am running things, they get done well. I can stand tall and be confident in the integrity of these lists.

Beautiful, time-consuming chaos.

Being the keeper of the lists has perks: I’m one of the first people to hear that others are running for office. I get wonderful phone calls where people declare that I’m “integral” to their campaign.
Oh, really?
“And would you help us spread the word of our campaign to those on your contact list?”
Perhaps.
“Better yet, why don’t you give me your lists and we can just mail them out information about us directly?”
Nice try, but no.

I even had one bottle blonde-haired upstart call me and tell me that she wanted all of my lists. Bottle Blonde had declared that my candidate had given the green light for me to give Bottle Blonde all of our lists. A simple phone call to the Candidate proved this to be entirely false. But she had balls for trying.

So that’s what I’ve spent whole days and nights doing this week, and that is how I’ll be spending all of this weekend. I’m editing these lists to make them into a thing of wonder, and damn it, because it’s the last time I’ll be doing this. I am looking forward to the end of August to bow out of my political career on a high.